Ben Schuster

Couples Counseling

You want to work on your relationship but your partner is not willing to come to couples counseling?

Its also possible to contact me on your own to work through the challenges you face in your relationship.

We will not focus on how to change your partner. This is out of your control. The focus will be on your personal capacity for change and how to be (or not to be) in your relationship. 

Through individual support you can start to change how you show up in your relationship, what are your boundaries and how you respond to conflicts. Your new clarity and emotional stability can lead to significant changes in your relationship, and at a minimum will give you a strong foundation for deciding on what you want moving forward. 

Please note – before you go down this path – I highly encourage you to speak to your partner again – not from a space of blame and you have a problem – but from a space of – i miss you and want to be closer to you and can we get help together to reconnect. 

common questions

Once we start working together on your own, in most cases it is not possible for me to accompany you together. In some cases it may be possible, if your partner does a number of sessions on his own together with me – then both of you have trust in me and I am not biased and it is possible to work with you together. However, this only works if we haven’t done too many sessions together.   

Every relationship has a particular dynamic, which is made up of your responses and your partners responses to you. If we work on your side of the equation – this can change the whole dynamic between you. 

Please call me of submit the form on my contact page. 

You can’t. You can ask them. You can share that the relationship is important to you. But you cannot make them.

One of the reasons why partner’s resist going to couples counseling is that they feel like their partner is trying to “fix them” or make them to blame for the problems in the relationship. Often this is the woman who expresses her frustration and the man feels like he will be blamed and accussed of being the problem in counseling sessions.

Counseling is NOT about finding blame. You are both responsible for the dynamic. It is NEVER one person, it is ALWAYS both of you. It can help to ask yourself what is your role, or to be interested in why your partner resists coming to counseling and to try and better understand their perspective. Of course this doesn’t always work – but it starts to create the openess that is needed to work together.