Ben Schuster

Preperation for Couples Therapy

Healthy and happy relationships don’t happen by themselves.

While there have been many books and opinions on the subject over the past century, clear research has emerged over the past 10-15 years that shows what it takes to have a happy and lasting relationship.

Among many other factors, two crucial skills have emerged. The ability to regulate our own emotions, and the ability to be vulnerable and connect with our partner on an emotional level.

The following books and videos contribute to a better understanding and should be read and viewed in preparation for couples therapy.


The following books are must read if you want to improve your relationships

Susan Johnson

This book is a great start to understanding the negative dynamics in your relationship and learning how to take back control.

The seven conversations form the basis for the focus of couples therapy and help you prepare for our sessions.

I recommend it as required reading for all couples beginning couples therapy.

Kallos-Lilly & Fitzgerald

This manual will help you reflect on your own attachment style and better understand the impact it has on your relationship. It will also help you better understand the role of your emotions in the negative cycle and how to get them back under control.

I recommend this book for couples who really want to improve their relationship and are willing to do some self-study/self-work to do so.

Perry & Winfrey

This book describes how our brains process these experiences and the enormous impact this has on our ability to regulate our emotions and function in healthy ways, especially in relationships. It helps us understand at a deep level why we and others (our partners) react the way we do.

This book is a must read for couples who have a strong conflict or negative cycle, or for people who have experienced trauma directly or indirectly through their parents or grandparents.


Following Videos should be viewed together to better understand EFT (English videos coming soon)